Windows Source Code

[JAC]

/* Source Code to Windows 2000 */

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
}

write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();

if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}

/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}

[JAC]

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHHAA

[tlccomp]

Is this for the upgrade or a clean install?

[hugo929]

display_blue_screen();

[tlccomp]

[Malyshh]

is it original code?
I'm under the table ))))))

[mvortikar]

A moment of silence please, for the cumulative countless hours we have all lost dealing with this POS OS.

-Mvort

[Windmiller]

[Malyshh]

)))))))))
if ( fast_cpu() )
{
if( get_status_MMX() )
set_MMX_Disable();
if( get_status_SSE() )
set_SSE_Disable();
if( get_status_SSE2() )
set_SSE2_Disable();
if( get_status_SSE3() )
set_SSE3_Disable();
if( get_status_SSE4() )
set_SSE4_Disable();
}

[andamus]

if ( prev_OS_found < Win2000() )
{

printf(say_some_crap_words_about_Bills_vision_of_future());
define CrapWords as array ('EASY','FASTER','IMPROVED','SMARTER','BEAUTIFULL','USEFULL');
while (!user_tired()) do
{
printf("This NEW OS is more",random(CrapWords)," than other previous OS we made);
}
If (system_is_too_slow)
{
printf("The incoming PATCH for OS will made it more",random(CrapWords)," than other previous OS we made);
Install_some_crapware_from_WinUpdate;
}
If (system_is_still_too_slow)
{
printf("The incoming Service Pack for OS will made it more",random(CrapWords)," than other previous OS we made);
Install_more_crapware_from_WinUpdate;
}
If (system_become_deadly_slow)
{
printf("The incoming NEW OS will be ",random(CrapWords)," than this OS, we promise it!!!!');
try_copy_some_features_from_apple();
wait_for_a_miracle().
}
}

[hugo929]

I think all our cpu collector are far much skilled programmer. M$ should recuirt us and pay a high high salary!

[iguana]

if (slow_cpu())
{
send_it_to_iguana();
}

[Malyshh]

[kosmokrator]

[Gigi]

And where is the well-know blue screen.

u = rand;
if (u>1/5)
{
printf("An error has occured. Please contact.."

// To be continued
}